Anastasia Beskrovnaya

Anastasia Beskrovnaya

Anastasia is a student of Conflict Management Department, Saint Petersburg State University, Russia; the author of training programme “The Effective Way of Conflict Resolution”, social facilitator, radio host and journalist. Her biggest aim is to make this world better by sharing some conflict management basics, so people can decrease the amount of misunderstanding problems. She loves to travel, read classic literature, meet people from all over the world and exchange experience and points of view together.

It is always easier to understand a conflict when two parties are involved, isn’t it? Two different people can disagree, fighting over the same objective, sharing opposite values, or wishing to achieve polar opposite goals. But how can we explain a situation in which the disagreement is inside someone’s head? That’s exactly what experts call an intrapersonal conflict. We have already analysed its motivation and role types. This time we’ll find out what this ‘condition’ is and how simply it can influence our behaviour.

Now that we are all experts in the sphere of interpersonal relations and the general problem of misunderstanding, it’s time to talk about another type of conflict, which is the intrapersonal variety.

This time we will shift the focus to another fundamental type of conflict. There is only one person in the world who can have a bigger impact on us than anybody else, one person who makes things complicated and who struggles to arrive at the best decisions and choices, and that person is ourselves. Intrapersonal conflicts may be even more harmful and difficult to resolve than interpersonal ones. And in this article we’ll try to learn more about it.

If you have read any of my previous articles, then you may already have an understanding of the term “conflict”: what it is exactly, how to distinguish interests and positions, and even how to behave in many different situations. But, I’m afraid, there’s still one important question: why? Why do we often have disagreements with people we love, appreciate, or respect? That’s exactly what I’m going to answer now.

The previous article shed some light on the important topic of manipulation techniques. Why is it so crucial to learn about manipulation? The point is, that we deal with compliance methods like manipulation much more often than we would like to think we do.

The previous article discussed the customary terms of conflict and offered concrete examples to define our positions and interests. We learned how to analyse the perception of conflict and how to separate facts, interpretations, and emotions. There is no doubt now that conflict is an essential part of every human being’s life, and there is nothing wrong with that. Yet the paramount question is still relevant: what to do after you realise you’re involved in a conflict? How to work with it - and how to stand up for your rights and values without harming the opponent? I hope this article can shed some light on this practical topic.

There’s no doubt that our lives are filled with different kinds of conflicts, and that’s not anything we have to be ashamed of. Dealing with misunderstanding doesn’t make us «wrong» as people. Otherwise, experts call «normal» only those relationships where partners argue with each other infrequently, indicating that they care about one another and don’t take their interactions for granted. This rule works with family relations, friendships, and so on.

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